The Right’s Banquet of Buffoonery: TV Dinners, Tyranny, and Theology
Escaping Monarchy, But Not the Desire for One
The founders revolted against the British Monarchy and crossed the Atlantic to escape divine rule. However, not everyone left the desire for a king behind. Loyalists wanted to remain under British rule, and monarchist sentiment even grew during the American Revolution.
In 1782, Colonel Lewis Nicola proposed George Washington become King of the United States under a constitutional monarchy. Thankfully, Washington embraced the American experiment and Thomas Paine’s Common Sense. He rejected the proposal, stating:
“Let me conjure you then, if you have any regard for your Country, concern for yourself or posterity or respect for me, to banish these thoughts from your Mind, & never communicate, as from yourself, or anyone else, a sentiment of the like Nature.” — Washington’s Letter to Col. Nicola (Newburgh, May 22nd, 1782)
Trump and the Return of the Monarchy Fantasy
Fast forward to 2025, and it’s clear that the hunger for monarchy still flows through the conservative party. Trump’s cult of personality became unlike anything a U.S. president had cultivated before. When he teased the idea of remaining in office beyond two terms, his crowd didn’t push back, they applauded.
Moreover, Trump uses classic authoritarian tactics: weaponizing racial superiority and twisting religion to manipulate the masses. He stages empty gestures such as executive orders, Bible photo ops, and court appointments stacked with evangelical judges. His pick for the Supreme Court, Amy Coney Barrett, wasn’t just controversial for her rulings. She once belonged to People of Praise, where women in her role were literally called “Handmaids.”
Demonstrators dressed as characters from The Handmaid’s Tale oppose Judge Amy Coney Barrett’s confirmation at the Supreme Court on 11 October 2020 (AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite)
Congressional Complicity in Eroding Democracy
The undermining of our institutional foundations at the magnitude we have seen by this President can only occur when a Congressional body encourages the erosion of Democracy within the Republic. A Congressional body that swallows its morals lusting for power.
Over the decades, the modern Republican strategy has become clear: stoke social division to empower the fringe. They pit working-class Americans against one another while shielding the true enemies of the people. For example, they use social issues like abortion and “attacks on Christian values” to distract from economic corruption and special interest dealings.
Misinformation Served Hot: From Pulpit to TV Tray
In addition, televangelists funneled political messaging from pulpits straight into living rooms. Roger Ailes launched Fox News to push 24/7 misinformation into mainstream consciousness. The Koch Brothers turned these socially charged, misinformed viewers into a political weapon.
As a result, they paved the way for a birther conspiracy theorist to become president.
GOP strategists originally built the evangelical political base under Reagan. Now they’ve rebooted the model with a fast-food loving, reality-show host: Donald J. Trump.
One president oversaw the most indicted administration in American history. The other is on track to beat that record. Nevertheless, both are praised as messianic figures by the religious right.
Evangelical Legislation and Cookie-Cutter Control
Evangelicals aren’t just preaching, they’re legislating. Christian nationalists behind Project Blitz send copy-paste bills to lawmakers nationwide. These bills often push anti-LGBTQ laws disguised as “religious freedom.” Conveniently, they include blank fields for state names and sponsors.
Take Minnesota in 2018, for instance. Senator Dan Hall introduced a bill to display “In God We Trust” in public schools. It blatantly violated the First Amendment, and thankfully, it failed.
Still, Israel responded with gratitude. Petah Tikvah named a square after Trump. And Golan Heights? They honored Trump by naming a new settlement “Trump Heights” after his endorsement of Israeli sovereignty over the disputed land.
Together, these actions served as two giant backhands to a two-state solution.
What the Media Doesn’t Say: End Times Politics
At this point, it’s important to highlight what the mainstream media often misses. This isn’t just policy; it’s prophecy.
The 80% of evangelicals who voted for Trump believe the end times are near. These dispensationalists think Christ’s 1,000-year reign starts once Israel regains full control of its biblical territory. That’s when the rapture happens.
In essence, what we’re seeing isn’t just political zeal, it’s apocalyptic ambition.
Trump: The Salisbury Steak of Authoritarianism
Ultimately, Trump is just a brighter box version of the same frozen Salisbury steak. Who else believed and had a base pushing for these end times? Hollywood Sweetheart, Ronald Reagan.
“These predictions, the evangelists say, are detailed in the Bible and are about to begin because the rise of Soviet power, the rebirth of Israel in 1948 and the reunification of Jerusalem in 1967 are key parts of the prophecy.”
Sound familiar?
Back then, televangelists didn’t have Fox News or Koch money behind them. And they certainly didn’t rake in nearly as much cash.
Training the Church to Vote and Obey
Evangelicals once debated whether they should even participate in politics. That changed once conservative media taught them how to vote and what to fear.
Trump’s followers say they hate the media. But what they really mean is they hate anything not approved by the dear leader himself.
Whether televangelists believe their own nonsense or not, they’re cashing in.
Because nothing screams “man of God” like 20 sexual assault allegations, being a convicted felon, three marriages, and a diet of gluttony and unchecked capitalism.
English
Leave a Reply